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Meth addicted flatulent unicorn AI tales

I’ve been playing with something recently called ChatGPT – it’s a conversational AI and… well, I asked it to write a story about a methamphetamine addicted gassy unicorn looking for a tuba. Everything except commentary from here on is computer generated from the request “write me a 6000 or so word story about a flatulent unicorn that is addicted to meth and has an adventure looking for a lost Tuba”:


Once upon a time, in a far-off land filled with magical creatures, there lived a flatulent unicorn named Sparkles. Sparkles was a bit of an odd unicorn, as she had a strange addiction to methamphetamines. She couldn’t seem to get enough of the stuff, and would do just about anything to get her hooves on more.

One day, Sparkles received word that a rare and valuable tuba had gone missing from the kingdom. The tuba was said to possess magical powers, and whoever found it would be greatly rewarded. Sparkles, always one to seek out new adventures, decided to set out on a quest to find the lost tuba.

Sparkles traveled far and wide, searching every nook and cranny of the kingdom for the missing instrument. She asked every creature she met if they had seen the tuba, but no one seemed to have any information.

As the days passed, Sparkles began to feel discouraged. She had been searching for weeks and still had no leads on the tuba’s whereabouts. Just when she was about to give up, she received a tip from a mischievous imp that the tuba might be hidden in a secret cave deep in the forest.

Sparkles’s heart skipped a beat at the news. She had always wanted to explore the mysterious cave, but had never had the courage to do so. With renewed hope, she set off into the dense forest, determined to find the lost tuba.

The journey was treacherous, as the forest was full of dangers. Sparkles had to dodge vicious beasts and navigate through dense underbrush, but she was determined to find the tuba.

After what felt like an eternity, Sparkles finally came upon the secret cave. She could feel the tuba’s presence inside, calling out to her. She cautiously made her way into the dark, damp cave, her hooves echoing off the walls.

As she ventured deeper into the cave, Sparkles began to feel a strange sensation. She could feel the tuba’s magic coursing through her veins, filling her with energy and strength. She knew she was getting closer to the lost instrument.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Sparkles stumbled upon the tuba. It was nestled in a hidden alcove, surrounded by a soft glow. Sparkles reached out and touched the tuba, and as she did, a surge of power flowed through her body.

Overjoyed at her discovery, Sparkles scooped up the tuba and made her way out of the cave. She knew she had to bring the tuba back to the kingdom as quickly as possible, before anyone else could lay claim to it.

The journey back to the kingdom was long and treacherous, but Sparkles was fueled by the tuba’s magic. She traveled day and night, never stopping to rest. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, she arrived at the gates of the kingdom.

The people of the kingdom were overjoyed at Sparkles’s return, and hailed her as a hero. The king himself came out to greet her, and presented her with a handsome reward for her bravery.

Sparkles was thrilled at the recognition, but she knew that the true reward was the adventure itself. She had faced danger and overcome adversity, and had found the lost tuba. And as she stood there, surrounded by the people of the kingdom, she knew that she had truly found her place in the world.


Not great, but if you’re ever looking for some inspiration in a story to tell your kids you can now ask an Ai to come up with something such as the above… throw in details at the end such as the unicorn had sold the tuba for meth, and you’ve got a story for the ages…

Paul King

Paul King lives in Nashville Tennessee with his wife, two daughters and cats. He writes for Pocketables, theITBaby, and is an IT consultant along with doing tech support for a film production company.