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Tooth Fairy saga – day 4. The investigation completes

Paul King 1 Comment

Yesterday the first coin was found and the story changed ever so slightly to she had seen it and dropped it. I can guarantee you it was not visible anywhere where the coin in the envelope was dropped. We’d had a couple of conversations about the missing coin and someone kept asking various things about how one could maybe get more coins so I highly suspect this is an issue.

Toothless and the Easter Bunny

I spun a tale about my conversation with internal investigations and what standard practices were – putting the person on administrative leave while investigating, what all was involved in questioning, why stealing something and reporting false information affected others and wasn’t just a dollar. Basic attempts to get her to understand that a dollar stolen and lied about might lead to consequences for other people. She seemed to understand.

I mean, she’s 6, obviously a lying little psychopath as that’s what 6yos are, but managed to fool me… here’s the (probably) final correspondence

Letter from Internal Affairies (full text) To Aerin King and guardians. From the desk of Internal Affairies. We received your message that a coin had been located underneath the bed and details you provided. From the forensic photos taken examining the delivery location the Assurance Reconstruction Department is unable to reconstruct a scenario in which a coin dropped from the top bunk (single) would have been able to get underneath the bed which has a double. As such Investigation and Operational Affairs highly suspect an agent was at play in moving the coin. You should know that additionally at the start of the investigation a marker coin was thrown into the hallway area. From your reports last night about the finding of the coin and lack of mentioning the second tracker coin this leads us to believe Operational Affairs’ assumption that a third party was involved. The questioning of the Delivery and Recovery subcontractors tended to indicate that they played no role. The Delivery Frog was quite upset to have been involved in this, but that’s a matter for HR. At the moment Midsouth Regional Tooth Processing is making the statement that product was delivered, no cargo (your tooth,) was received, and our investigations into our delivery agents is concluded. We are not saying the recipient (Aerin King,) who lost both the tooth and the first coin was involved in the second coin’s missing/not being found, however all future deliveries and retrievals will be recorded on video for both delivery notifications and cost savings. Should parents be awake we’ll request a signature. An Internal Affairies investigation into this matter took a delivery frog and a subcontractor off the route for approximately four hours resulting in emergency overtime for other retrieval specialists. Please inform us if you locate the second coin as we are currently verifying that the Easter Movement Specialists (EMS) have not been operating in our territory during your retrieval operation. All the best, and congratulations on your tooth loss and nub! Todd Roberts, assistant to Donnie Ray Sparklebottom Dir. Internal Affairies Southeast / Midsouth Regional

Paul King

Paul King lives in Nashville Tennessee with his wife, two daughters and cats. He writes for Pocketables, theITBaby, and is an IT consultant along with doing tech support for a film production company.