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The hidden dangers of a Mr Potato Head costume

Mr.Potato Head is a beloved and perfectly safe character to dress your kids as right? I would have thought so until I saw a couple of toddlers walking around and nearly broke out laughing because I’m evidently a 12 year old boy.

So, to show you what the issue is we’ll start with your average Mr. Potato Head costume. This is what I think the kiddies were wearing out trick or treating this year that I saw. You can grab it at Amazon for between $10 and $27.

It looks like this:

Mr Potato Head Costume Front

Adorbs, right? The problem is they didn’t put anything onto the back, at least not on what I saw. Now, this is fine and dandy as Mr Potato Head doesn’t have anything back there other than a door that you can pop open, but let’s imagine what that looks like:

Mr Potato Head Costume Back

My guess is they didn’t put the door in the ones I saw for reasons of not having Mr Potato Head walking around with a rear entry hatch and those connotations.

Basically it looks a little like a bulbous brown pear with how the costume fits. Still, it looks mostly like Mr Potato Head until you drive your kid from point A to B and add some creases from the seat, or add a bit of dirt from leaning up against something. You end up with this:

Mr Potato Head Costume is a testicle

Ok, not exactly, but I swear there were two toddlers walking around looking like self-directed testicals and lordy, they were more caucasian flesh colored looking than what I’ve drawn here and more battle rugged from riding in the car, it really took all my will to not laugh.

What was worse was when I saw a kid with a stormtrooper backpack and a dark blue or purple hat in one of them.

Mr Potato Head Costume with cup and condom
What that sort of looked like

Just… really.. it’s looking more like a jock protector and a rubber at this point.

Anyway, just realize your adorable potatoes look like wobbly nards, and be ok with it when someone points that out. Or put something on the back to make it look different such as not a white backpack.

Paul King

Paul King lives in Nashville Tennessee with his wife, two daughters and cats. He writes for Pocketables, theITBaby, and is an IT consultant along with doing tech support for a film production company.