22 things that suck being home sick with baby

So the scenario is you’re taking care of your wee one and have the flu. I speak from my current experience. My baby cries when I cough as for some reason she thinks I’m barking at her, so I have it extra fun.

So after three days of being sick, having no brain to brain here. here are the

Top things that suck about being home sick with baby

1. Pile of Kleenex with beef/pilaf wiping from baby’s mouth indistinguishable from pile of Kleenex from snot
2. Baby cries when you cough, cries when you leave the room to cough
3. Mass intake of water to flush out the germs means you’re hitting the bathroom every time the baby is about to sleep on you
4. Nose clogged up, miss the smell, get the taste of a dirty diaper
5. Cries are five times as loud when you have a headache
6. Baby feels abandoned if you’re sitting on the couch
7. Baby food and snot, try to not think about it too much
8. All the other babies are out doing something interesting while your is stuck home with sicko dad
9. Diapers start looking extremely good about the 19th time you’ve hit the bathroom
10. Wondering if the odd mucus on the baby is hers or yours from a sneeze
11. Baby acts like you feel like you want to act
12. Seeing stars after standing up in baby’s room are not from constellation sleep turtle
13. Watching Barney with your baby because you’r simply too tired to get up and throw the TV out the window
14. Baby eats and keeps down more food than you can
15. Fevered dreams involving Kelly and Chica going Reservoir Dogs on the new (and old,) Sprout Sunny Side Up Hosts. As a note Carley, you didn’t deserve that fate.
16. Feverishly watching Barney and not hating it, realizing you don’t hate it, and dying inside just a little bit
17. Inability to drink self into coma to sleep out the cold
18. Realization that baby will be sick in about two day so say bye bye to daycare
19. Croaking voice solidifying baby’s inherent belief that we’re all Muppets
20. Boring the crap out of baby, literally
21. The running disaster zone that becomes the living space as you stop picking things up due to sinus pressure
22. The whimpering ball of snot and tears is you