Q: How many pacifiers do I need? A: Infinity pacifiers.

How many pacifiers is enough? More than two.

At first when we have nine pacifiers and suddenly had two, we thought we could blame the cats as there had been one known instance of a kitty swatting a pacifier that was on the ground. The problem with this theory was that the cat on duty would have actually had a plan to carry this out and have someplace to stash everything. This doesn’t seem to be the case.

The next assumption was that they were falling out in the car, as that’s the only possible place that a baby who doesn’t throw things without being seen could have chucked them. An inspection of the car showed none of the several replacement pacifiers.

At 14 pacifiers purchased now and several given to us, we’ve narrowed it down to two possible options:

The Terrible Secret of MAM Pacifiers – Self Destruct Timer

That’s right, one of my beliefs is that these pacifiers have a self destruct switch built in. Sure the technology to make sure there are no remains and no witnesses when they destroy themselves would far out-weigh the value of the pacifier, but how else are you going to explain it other than:

Daycare pacifier smuggling ring

We should have suspected when they managed to lose a pacifier with our daughter’s name on it, but it makes perfect sense that the daycares are in the pockets of Big Baby.

Taking pacifiers from baby’s mouths and putting them back on the shelves in an off-beat evil liberal recycling program aimed at your wallet.

I mean, those are the only options, it’s not like there’s a pocket universe where all the pacifiers end up, and once lost these things simply never reappear.

I don’t know… those are my thoughts… others have their own ideas as to what happens. What are yours?

Paul King

Paul King lives in Nashville Tennessee with his wife, two daughters and cats. He writes for Pocketables, theITBaby, and is an IT consultant along with doing tech support for a film production company.