the IT city, the I.T. Baby


The running joke that keeps on running – asshole baby at 7pm

HDR Maggie
Enjoy this for another two hours 17 minutes, it won’t last

It’s become a running joke between me and ITMama that at 7PM every day our beloved little daughter turns into a raging asshole for roughly one hour and thirty minutes. The past few days we’ve been working on seeing if there was any way to combat this as that’s generally the time when people we know might want to be around us, which has lead most people to believe our child is the spawn of Satan all the time.

To the ends of attempting to stop asshole baby, we’ve switched formulas three times including soybean-based for several days, changed up feeding to incentivise her to eat at different times, swaddled her to encourage naps that should either leave her rested or wide awake at 7PM, and done just about everything short of a full-fledged exorcism on her as when we started the mini-exorcism she just giggled and greenish soybean formula spewed forth. I took it as a bad sign.

Saturday we wrapped her up for a nap at 6:40 thinking we could fool her… this after a day of short naps. 7PM came and went and at 7:03 she jerked and woke up screaming from a sound sleep. I believe it took her about 4 minutes to fully wake up and get into the full blown psycho 7PM baby, but she woke from a dead sleep.

Sunday she made up for lost time, and at 6:58 went from happy sleeping baby to evil demon spawn.

We don’t really feed her on a schedule, or change her on a schedule, or turn the tv on or off on a schedule, and nothing happens at 7pm on the dot that a baby could understand, let along trigger a wakeup screaming from a dead sleep, so I’m getting a bit concerned as to how my child is managing to get the 7PM trigger.

The attacks and anger are always one hour and thirtyish minutes long. The length can vary, but she’s not going to be a happy baby before 8:20 and probably not going to be raging angry past 8:42, and that’s just freaking weird.

She spends the day mostly happy, the occasional dissatisfaction with not being able to see people, or perhaps a Yelp-worthy complaint about the speed the bottles were prepared, and sometimes a sanitation complaint, but she’s generally a happy baby, but the raging cry/kick/burp/fart/scream machine always comes out at 7. Regardless of whether there are people around or not, she’ll be happy by 8:30ish and the life of the party, or the room.

Paul King

Paul King lives in Nashville Tennessee with his wife, two daughters and cats. He writes for Pocketables, theITBaby, and is an IT consultant along with doing tech support for a film production company.