Infantino Swift Classic Carrier review

The Infantino Swift Classic Carrier is a chest strap carrying system that allows you to carry your infant on your chest facing toward you (for younger babies,) or facing away when their necks have developed better.

The Infantino Swift Classic Carrier allows you to move about with your child relatively hands-free, and you’re able to bend to a certain extent as long as baby’s head is accounted for.

While I’ve used this a bit for walking around the house while attempting to do things that a very needy baby wouldn’t allow me two hands to do, I just recently had a chance to do a more involved test which involved a sleeping infant, 80 degree breezy weather, and a festival with hundreds of babies and thousands of larger people.

Infantino Swift Classic Carrier in action

I was greeted by other parents with strollers asking me where one could get this particular unit and how much it cost. Strollers were fairly annoying here as you were off-roading most of the time, even when on the road and none of the stores were stroller friendly (everything involved steps.) Imagine a town that the Americans with Disabilities Act had never touched and you’ve got where I was.

I had Maggie with me in the carrier for about a half hour before she decided it was time to explode from as many orifices as possible, and during a changing I discovered I was crisscrossed with sweat marks from the padded straps with one giant wet spot on my chest which was from sweating on baby and vice versa.

Fortunately Maggie did not seem to mind in the least being covered in sweat, and her only complaint was getting in and out of the carrier as it’s really harder than it needs to be. A friend was there watching me put it and baby on and the speculation was made that it looked like I was having an illicit affair with an octopus while attempting to saddle up my kiddo.

I found that when entering stores I could slap my jackass glasses on the outside of the carrier since I couldn’t put them in my shirt’s neckline due to baby in the way.

The thing feels lite, the strap is adjustable and you can make the thing a bit longer, but perhaps because I’m a tall-torso freak, the carrier sat a little high which lead to the next day when my back was completely out due to balancing an additional 13 pounds at boob-level, which is significantly harder to manage than at belly level.

Things to remember

Your baby’s feet, arms, head, and legs are exposed. In the picture above we have a hat on Maggie, but I forgot to get socks for her. According to the Baby Owner’s Manual, socks are vitally important as baby feet tend to fry before anything else.

As I was not anywhere near the car, socks, or an umbrella when it occurred to me, we decided to give the baby cancer by using child-approved sunblock while we were busy damaging her hip bones with the baby carrier and overheating her in the 80 degree weather (just months after a 98.6 degree tummy sauna.) This after stunting her growth by swaddling her and feeding her formula which emotionally scars and physically deforms.

In other words, we did what was required to keep her unharmed and healthy and you can shut your face l:)

How was it received?

Maggie likes being held, and to her this was holding her. She loved it until she didn’t, and when she didn’t I took her off and laid her down on a mat and let her look at the trees and whatever else came by. When she was ready we moved on.

All in all she spent about two hours in the thing and three hours at the event. I don’t think I would have pushed this much further as near the end she was tired of being sweated on and wanted to look outward. Unfortunately her neck’s still pretty useless so she had to look at me and to the sides.

She loved me walking around as it lulled her to sleep, but standing did not seem to have the same effects as standing holding her. I think I sway more when the chest thing isn’t on me.

Ups and downs

• Designed for smaller/shorter people than I
• Baby will sweat on you/vice versa
• Difficult to position sweaty baby in/out of it
• Great if you’ve got a needy little rugrat and need to use both hands
• Must be aware of leg position when sitting
• Black version absorbs a lot of heat
• Black version shows few baby containment failures

Wrap up

Coming in at $14.39 on Amazon, this is the least expensive carrier I’ve seen and it also does the job pretty well. I’ll probably need a different one someday as I’m taller than the target audience and have a crappier back.