First day at work with baby – a running account

First day at work with baby – a running account

So the story here is that the wiring guy at work missed the window of when I could meet him and have Maggie taken care of. So today me and Maggie have gone to work together and ITMama is back at her first day on the job. I also have to go meet Comcast (cable/internet monopoly ala Time Warner, Optimum Online, etc…) at a friend’s house in thirty minutes as they work two jobs to pay for Comcast and Comcast can be there between never that friend is available.

This is a running account of how things have gone so far. I hope it finds you and you learn from my fail.

2am for some reason maggie wakes up, needs fed.

5am Maggie wakes up, needs changed, fed, coffee’s on.

7am spend time attempting to figure if I’ve got everything needed to survive in the wild with a newborn – realize that’s a stroller, 2 bottles of formula (powdered), 2 sticks powdered formula just in case, 1 nipple, wipes, changing pad in case I need it, spare onesie, spare pacifier, phone charger, man satchel phone charger, stroller, carseat adapter for stroller, blanket, carseat, baby.

8:07am after spending a lot of time in traffic, which Maggie was not a fan of, arrive at work, baby acts perfect, I know this is a lie.

8:20am am told by accounting that they used to have one of the other employees babies here as a daycare more or less and that as long as I bring in a baby fight pit there’re people here who will take care of her.

8:27am first baby explosion – just temper

8:36am second baby explosion – just needed rocked

8:51am proof of life posted for ITmama

 In case you’re wondering, Maggie is wearing this:

…available from Amazon for $19.95

9:13am wiring done, heading on last round of the building to show off baby and head to Antioch to meet Comcast.
10:08 waiting on Comcast baby has toots. No poocano though

10:57 two diapers blown through in ten minutes. Got to remember to take out the trash before I leave.

Comcast in attic trying to figure out why signal fine on first floor crap on second

12:07 after losing cell phone power and three diapers, have made it back home, walked neighbor’s dogs, fed cats, fending off advances from lesser loved cat as I’m sweating balls and hot as fuck after carrying around crib midget in 90+ temps

12:13 baby in Baby Brain Off, cat seriously sulking because I won’t touch cat while sweating.

12:23 discover SheZow – a cross-dressing cartoon on Hub. Evidently ring of power found by boy, turns him into SheZow. Unsure if it does a sex conversion or just cross dressing.

Maggie is watching My Little Pony for a minute while I cool down

1:02 cranky baby is cranky. Swaddle/nap time.

1:28 insane starving baby screams out for brains

1:36 work calls for the third time, toss short email giving phone numbers and explaining that I wasn’t in the loop on latest issues so perhaps maybe bring me in the loop next time.

1:44 gave up on the concept of sleep, take baby out and lay next to her for a minute as she’s wanting to bat at my face

1:46 1000 yard stare and grunts, smell of death

1:47: Poocano 2: Shitpacolypse

2:00 lay baby in crib as I had to scrub up. Went to take her out and screaming commenced. Put her back in and fine, took her out screaming commenced.

3:50 I have learned of the Squeezy Freezy and wonder why this has not been marketed at adults:

(picture lost in server crash, click the amazon link if you want to see it)

Evidently available at WalMart and Amazon for $22.99.

pour in drink, squeeze, create your own slushy in seconds… hello girly stiff drinks

4:08 have just learned you can get the Squeezy Freezy for $15 at Target. Think I will see what’s on Target shortly

(rest lost in server crash)

Short of it is the day quickly devolved into me being extremely exhausted and riding in a car with a crying infant, waking up at 2am to feed infant and not being able to get back to sleep till 4.