Things to scare your no-kid friends vaginal tearing placenta
nipple clogging sleep deprivation similar to torture Vomit
Poocano nipple dripping milk rash
rashes hospital bills Babies can scream for five hours straight
Waking up every two hours to feed or pump EVERYTHING WILL KILL YOUR BABY You’re a horrible parent and should be stopped
Breast pumps Colostrum Child outpacing milk supply
Price of formula Trying to get baby to sleep For every website on the internet that tells you one thing about baby there’re at least as many telling you they’re wrong and you’re a horrible person
Cost of diapers Having to clean poop out/off of baby genitals bags of shitty diapers
nipple scabs Trying to come up with content for your daily baby blog Snotty stringy mucus things
Hemorrhoids Postpartum depression/psychosis Couples argue more after having a child
Loss of single friends is increased 12% of divorced women claim the child was the cause Nipple stretch
Mold smelling poop Formula smells like play-doh and vomit Baby rage
I remember sleep Newborns can’t sleep on their own, you have to de-stress them If there is a clean surface, baby fluids will reach it
clogged tear ducts bloody milk 
