Things to share to scare your no-kid friends
Just some random things you can use to freak out your friends, or perhaps use to scare your children abstinent/into using protection.
Things to scare your no-kid friends
- vaginal tearing
- placenta
- nipple clogging
- sleep deprivation similar to torture
- Vomit
- Poocano
- nipple dripping
- milk rash
- rashes
- hospital bills
- Babies can scream for five hours straight
- Waking up every two hours to feed or pump
- EVERYTHING WILL KILL YOUR BABY
- You’re a horrible parent and should be stopped
- Breast pumps
- Colostrum
- Child outpacing milk supply
- Price of formula
- Trying to get baby to sleep
- For every website on the internet that tells you one thing about baby there’re at least as many telling you they’re wrong and you’re a horrible person
- Cost of diapers
- Having to clean poop out/off of baby genitals
- bags of shitty diapers
- nipple scabs
- Trying to come up with content for your daily baby blog
- Snotty stringy mucus things
- Hemorrhoids
- Postpartum depression/psychosis
- Couples argue more after having a child
- Loss of single friends is increased
- 12% of divorced women claim the child was the cause
- Nipple stretch
- Mold smelling poop
- Formula smells like play-doh and vomit
- Baby rage
- I remember sleep
- Newborns can’t sleep on their own, you have to de-stress them
- If there is a clean surface, baby fluids will reach it
- clogged tear ducts
- bloody milk
