Songs made up trying to put the baby to sleep

As the night wears on and the day approaches, improvisation reigns supreme in attempts to get your baby to shut the hell up and sleep through the night. Songs such as Soft Kitty fall by the wayside as brain turns to mush and you attempt to do things that will actually be of benefit to both you and the baby.

After several nights of these, I have compile a list of some songs I’ve made up trying to put the baby to sleep:

• Daddy doesn’t like you after 2am
• It seems like we keep doing this again
• TCP-IP protocol stacks ain’t much fun
• You’re a rooter, that’s a router, you’re a tooter and a shouter
• In case you missed the memo, it’s lights-out time
• If I had a nickle for every time you hiccuped, I’d be making minimum wage
• I don’t know why baby blogs are so boring, I guess from lack of sleep
• Here’s some milk, shut the hell up, I love you
• Don’t make me google “does shaking the baby work?”
• I don’t know the words to this song, but you don’t speak English anyway
• I’ll love you much more with four hours more sleep
• Your poop smells like cabbage and there’s fire in your eye
• I never sang country ’til 4:17am
• We’ll both like each other more after a nap, so go the eff to sleep

Or perhaps they weren’t completely made up. Sleep deprivation has a way of confusing reality it seems.