Things I come up with while sitting waiting for a server to back up.

With apologies to JT

Diapers (parody of Mirrors)

Smells like a stinky quagmire
seems a smell is comin from the diaper
and I can’t help but notice
the neglect of your stinky behind
baby blows through the legholes to the other side

Cause with your hand in the wasteband and a diaper full of soil
I can tell you there’s one place we gotta go
just put the baby on her ass
I’ll be trying’ to clean your poo
your smell is way too strong

‘Cause I don’t wanna change you now
I’m looking right at a diaper filled with pee
the empty space that was before
is filled with poo and smells like mold
show me how to wipe this now
and I’ll tell you, baby, kinda queasy
comin’ back to you once I cleaned it all out
a new smell and stain that’s real strong

It’s filling your diaper
a diaper that’s filled with pee
it couldn’t get any bigger
as evidenced by flowing pee
And it’s brown as this substance that you’re leaking
two directions sewage leaks
You’ve filled your damn diaper
Your diaper’s filled with pee, overflowing pee

You’re overflowing the diaper pail
a green stench emitting what a horrid smell
and I can’t help but look cause
I smell poop somewhere between your thighs
‘nother diaper change for poo
disgusts me, baby’s makin’ poo
baby I should, pressure wash to clean the grime

…

You are, baby the love of my life

Baby’s the inspiration for this precious song
and I want to smell less feces with the diaper on
Now I say goodbye to the clean shirts, laundry’s not done
and I can’t wait wait wait wait wait to clean my home
Just to let you know